Coming to terms
by Kitty Black Cat
Summary: Post episode of June 9th today . Goes AU from ep though. What if Luke had gone after Noah right after he punched Reid to give him a piece of his mind? What if it helped him finally come to terms with some of the drama in his life?


**Disclaimer: I do now own ATWT or its characters (I wish I did though, because Bob, really, your timing is aweful!)**

AN: On May 20th I got inspired for "Le choix du Coeur" because I didn't like how it ended. Weirdly enough, even though today's (June 9th) episode was amazing and I loved it, my muse jumped on me and I really had no choice but to write this. I know I was supposed to post chapter 6 of "Le choix du Coeur" but I'm sorry, when I opened Word the only thing that popped out of my head and onto the screen was this. Hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

**Coming to terms**

"What the hell?" Luke whispered. Luke could not believe it. Noah had actually punched Reid. Reid! The guy who gave him his sight back and was now trying to make a good impression on an investor for the hospital. And he had punched him. When Noah showed up, Luke had felt grateful that Noah's esteem for Bob had made him do what was right, but now he really didn't know what Noah had been thinking. Was this planned? Or was it just a spur of the moment thing? Either way, it was wrong. No matter how bad things are between Noah, Reid and him, there's just no excuse for what he had done.

"You okay Reid?"

"Sure, just another day in my life. It's not like I haven't been punched before Luke. I'm fine."

"Yeah well. I'm not. I'm gonna go talk to Noah"

"Don't. It doesn't matter."

"The hell it doesn't. He can't just…you know, just wait for me here ok. I won't be long"

Luke Snyder hated to be made a liar. He really hadn't planned on being gone long but it seemed that Noah had gotten quite far away before Luke was finally able to find him. 'Hopefully, Reid will still be there when I go back or that someone will know where he is' Luke thought.

"Noah…NOAH!" Luke screamed after his ex-boyfriend.

"What?" Noah snapped at him.

"What? You're asking me what? You punched Reid that's what!"

"So?"

"So? So? Noah! You punched the best doctor of our hospital in front of a possible buyer! What were you thinking? Do you have any idea how much trouble you just caused Bob? Forget about Reid. I told you this wasn't about him. It's about what's best for the hospital and the people who work for it! How can you jeopardize that over some misplaced anger you have towards Reid."

"Misplaced anger? There is nothing misplaced about my anger! And there is nothing wrong with me punching that pompous ass!"

Luke looked away from Noah and took a deep breath. He had to get his anger under control or he was going to say and perhaps even do things that he was going to regret. After all, it would make little sense to be angry at Noah for resorting to physical violence if he did the same thing.

"All right. Just explain it to me. Explain what has made you so angry that you are willing to do something that would affect the hospital and Bob negatively. What is it that Reid has done to you that is so bad? What makes you so angry?"

"What he did to me? You're seriously asking me what that bastard did and why I'm angry! Oh gee I don't know maybe, just maybe, I'm angry that my doctor is dating my boyfriend behind my back!"

Luke looked at him with a shocked face. Noah wasn't making any sense.

"Ok. First of all, Reid and I aren't dating. Second of all, if we were or if we do eventually date, how would that be any of your business? I'm not your boyfriend Noah. Or have you forgotten AGAIN that we have broken up, been broken up for months! Months Noah. And before that, when we were dating, have you forgotten how you kept pushing me away? How every thing I did was wrong? Have you forgotten that after the surgery and at Snyder's pond you wanted me back, but as soon as we get you examined because of your headache, you push me away again? So yeah Noah, I'm seriously asking you what horrendous crime Reid has committed against you. Because I don't see it. That you're angry with me, I understand. But with Reid? After what he did for you? No, Noah. I don't understand."

"You don't understand? My doctor seduced my boyfriend! He used the fact that I was blind and that you and I were emotionally vulnerable to put the moves on you and break us up!"

"Reid had nothing to do with the break up Noah. I told you, by the time Reid made a move on me, you and I had been broken up for a while. Hell, actually, by that time, you had moved on to Richard! Or did you forget that little piece of information too!"

"That's not the same thing at all!"

"Yes it is!" Luke screamed. He was so tired of this. He loved Noah, but this double standard thing was pissing him off. "You tried to move on with your life with Richard and when I confronted you about it, when I disliked it, you made it perfectly clear that it was not my business and that I had no right to be jealous. But when I try to move on with my life, all of a sudden, moving on is wrong and the guy I might be moving on with is a jackass! How is that logical?"

"It's different"

"How Noah? How is it different? Tell me!"

"You know what I don't have to deal with this. Just go back to your little doctor and fawn all over the jackass" Noah started to leave but was soon grabbed by Luke.

"Oh no! You're not doing this. We're dealing with this right now!"

"No we're not. I'm fed up with this. And I'm fed up with you!"

Noah took control of arm again and stormed off. Luke watched him go, fists clenched in anger. He just couldn't believe Noah. If he thought he would get away without talking about this, he was wrong. Luke was tired. Noah and he had needed to have a serious talk for quite some time now. And although he had really hoped to have this talk when they were both calm and objective, he now knew that it was extremely unlikely to happen. He took out his cellphone and send a text message to Reid to tell him he hoped his nose was better and not to wait for him because he was going to ash things out with Noah once and it would probably take a while since Noah was far from receptive. Once that was done, he sent another text message, this time to Noah.

Noah Mayer was fuming. He had every right to punch that boyfriend-stealing bastard. He couldn't believe that Luke could actually be angry with him for it. Oh he knew Luke wouldn't like it. Of course, he wouldn't. Noah had punched his precious new toy or whaterver. He couldn't believe Luke would throw away everything they had for that..for that…Argh! He just wanted to go back there and punch him again. He deserved it.

The sound of his cellphone interrupted Noah's thought process.

_The only reason you're running away__ like a coward, 'cause yeah that's what you're doing, is because you know you were wrong and you had no right to do what you did. You're just too stubborn to admit it!_

Luke. The message was from Luke. 'So I'm running away like a coward am I? All right then Luke. You want to talk? Let's talks' Noah thought as he replied to Luke to meet with him.

"So, you're ready to talk now?"

"Sure. But I don't see what else we could have to say to each other Luke. You made your choice."

"Really? And what is that? Because the only thing I did was called you on your inappropriate behaviour in that meeting. That's all"

"You defended him!"

"Because what you did was wrong! If Reid had punched you, I would be defending you! But he didn't. He acted as a professional like he **always** does, and politely extended his hand like everyone else did, and you punched him for it! Reid did the right thing. When he saw you, he didn't miss a beat. He continued being professional no matter what his personal feelings for you, me or this whole situation are. What you did was uncalled for Noah. And it was undeserved."

"Oh no it wasn't. He deserves a lot more than just one punch."

"For what? Liking me?" Luke voice started to break. "Is that it? Is liking me a crime now? "

" For breaking us up!"

" He didn't break us up!" Luke exclaimed, exasperated.

" He might as well have. He told us to keep from each other…"

"Because he thought that it was what was best for his patient! And because I annoyed him like hell back then. He didn't say that to separate us Noah. Reid is a professional."

"Professional! You think that guy is professional? Come on Luke. He tried to seduce his patient's boyfriend. How is that professional!"

" Ok, short term memory much? " Luke scoffed "I wasn't your boyfriend when he made his interest known. And after he made his interest known, he did not change his attitude towards you. You can't deny that. If I had asked you a week ago what you thought of Reid professionally, you would have sung his praises and you know it. Every single thing he did for you was what he knew as a doctor was the best for you. He accepted to treat you no matter what his feelings for either of us were. He did his goddamned best to give you back your eyesight even though he was interested in me and knew I'd probably go back to you after he restored your vision."

"But you didn't come back to me Luke! And that's his fault!"

"Is it?" Luke asked, his voice going hard and cold.

"Of course. We were going to get back together after my surgery Luke, you know that. But then he had to put the moves on you and fill your head with I don't know what nonsense to make you leave me!"

Luke couldn't believe it. "We were going to get back together? **We were going to get back together!** Really? We were? And how exactly was I supposed to know that? What is when you constantly pushed me away? When you chose nothing instead of all? When you started seeing Richard? Enlighten me Noah. When and how in the last few** months** did you give me **any** indication that you wanted to be with me again? huh Noah. Come on, tell me!" Luke was livid. His whole body was shaking from anger.

"What? You can't tell me? Ok then, I'll tell you the when. After you woke up from your surgery. Only after you got your eyesight back did you make it known that you still loved me and wanted me back. Before that? I had no clue. I had some hope but sure as hell not because you gave me any. Because you didn't give me any hope for our couple Noah."

"That's not true! There was plenty to hope for."

"Really? Then tell me this Noah: If the surgery had failed, and Reid had announced that nothing could be done about your blindness, would you still have told me you loved me and wanted us to be back together?"

Noah looked away at the question.

"Because you know what I think? I think you wouldn't have. The problem between us wasn't the blindness. Yet you acted like it was. Like the surgery would automatically fix things between us. But you are the one who pushed me away. Not your blindness. I love you Noah and I care for you. And you may love me but I really don't think you care about me."

"How can you even think that for one second! Of course I care about you!"

"Noah…You pushed me away, you hurt me badly and I mean **really** badly, and when I didn't want to get back together, you acted like if I was doing something wrong. You told me you wanted me and then pushed me away all over again. You're angry at me for kissing Reid when you were actually with Richard at the time"

"Nothing happened with Richard"

"So? It doesn't change the fact that you didn't call me to pick you up. I did nothing but support you in your hard time, no matter how much you pushed for me to leave you alone. I worried over you all the time and you couldn't even call me to tell me you were being released. You know how important your health was to me, but you didn't care. You didn't care about how I would feel to hear from Reid that you had been discharged. You didn't care how I would feel when you punched Reid. You are acting like I did something wrong with Reid. You're punishing me for doing something that you did too. Is that what you call caring about me? Because honestly Noah, right now, it feels like you don't respect me at all. And you playing the victim, when you're not one, is not helping!"

"I'm not playing the victim here!"

"Yes you are! You're going all self-righteous because you saw your ex-boyfriend, whom you had just told to leave you alone by the way, kiss another guy! You're the one who didn't want to be with me. I admit that finding out about Reid and I the way you did was bad. And I understand you're angry about that. I understand you're angry I didn't tell you about it before. But you can't get angry at me for liking someone else. You lost that right a long time ago. I didn't cheat on you with Reid, Noah. When I was with you, I did nothing but be entirely devoted to you and love you and apparently that wasn't good enough for you! "

" That wasn't it. You have no idea what being blind was like, Luke. No idea of what I went through."

"No I don't"

"And then when that hell is over, I find out that my doctor seduced the guy I loved and has taken him away from me! Excuse me for being a little pissed about that!"

"Noah, if there wasn't anything wrong between us, there would have been no way for Reid to take me away from you. There wouldn't have been a place in my heart to like Reid back. You what Reid is?"

"An ass?" Noah asked sarcastically.

" Your scapegoat. It's easier this way, isn't it? This way you're the poor guy who got his naïve boyfriend stolen away from him. This way, Reid is the reason, the only reason, why we're not back together. This way, you can tell yourself that you lost me only because of Reid and if he wasn't there we would be happy together again. Well, guess what? It's wrong. Yes Reid made me realise things and made me evolve enough that I didn't jump back in with you. So maybe, if he hadn't been there, I wouldn't have had enough sense to put a break on things instead of jumping right in. But I know that I wouldn't have been happy in that decision. And I know that, because Reid is not the reason why I can't be with you. You are. We've been having problems for a long time and instead of fixing things, you just keep making things worst and today is yet another proof of that. I know I have my faults in all of this Noah. Maybe it's about time for you to grow up and admit your faults too and realise that Reid has no influence on what happens between you and I."

Noah had nothing to say to that and to be quite honest, if he had had, Luke didn't think he would have stuck around to hear him out anyway. He just didn't have the energy anymore. Noah and he would probably never agree on this issue. But Luke needed to make him see that Reid hadn't been the bad guy Noah thought he was. It takes two to tango and that was a lesson that Noah seriously needed to learn.

When Luke came back to the Lakeview, Reid was long gone. Fortunately, the waiter had heard Reid tell Bob he was going back home, so Luke knew where to head up to next. He wasn't sure how Reid would react to his presence, so he decided to enter right in without knocking. 'Best way not to get the door close in your face: don't let the person open the door in the first place' He found Reid sitting on Katie's sofa, eating an enormous sandwich.

"Hey" Luke said shyly, his hands in his pockets. "How's your nose?"

"Not broken and not bleeding..."

"Good, good" Luke interrupted him

"How are your hands?"

"My hands"

" You know those two things at the end of your arms. They can be useful to eating… writing…knocking on doors…"

"Ah. Yeah well…I wasn't sure if I was welcomed or not"

"So you decided to just come right in. That's logical" Reid added rather sarcastically.

Luke had enough sense to at least look apologetic. 'Well at least he's not throwing me out' thought Luke as he sat on the couch. 'But dear Lord, does this feel awkward or what'. He was feeling a little insecure at the moment. He didn't quite know how to act with Reid. The last two times they had seen each other, well…..it hadn't ended so well.

"I talked to Noah"

"Yes so you've told me before leaving and then text me about later"

"Yeah well…He was acting like you deserved to be punched and all, so I thought I needed to clear some things up"

"How did that go?"

"Honestly? I have no idea. At the end, I just needed to get away from him, you know. I just…I can't really understand what he's so angry at you about. I'm his ex-boyfriend. I can understand him being pissed at me, and at the situation of my liking you, but being angry at you?"

"Well according to , I'm interested in blind patients because it makes it easier for me to hit on their boyfriend or girlfriend under their nose without them noticing."

"He actually said that to you?"

"That actually surprises you?"

"No, I guess not"

"So anything else you need Luke or…"

"I…Reid…"

Reid Oliver sighed. Luke was looking at him with his hurt bambi eyes and damn! He hated when Luke looked at him like that. Made him feel like he had just killed a puppy. He had that same Luke the last time he had been here and Reid had told him to get out. And yet, later on, Luke had invited him in his home.

"Look Luke, what is it that you want?"

"Right now? Right now I just wanted to know how you were and…"

"And?"

"And I just want to be here with you" Luke answered taking Reid's hand.

Reid looked at their joined hands. It felt so good to be like this. But he knew he had to ask.

"How about Noah? What's going on with him now Luke?"

Luke looked down at his feet. He didn't really know how to answer that.

"You're here now, because Noah punched me. I'm an injured party and you can't help yourself but to come to my rescue" Luke tried to interrupt him but Reid cut him off immediately.

"And that's fine. I don't mind it, Luke. I know it's part of who you are. You care about people and you need to show it. I get that. And I appreciate it, because let's face it, your ex has one mean right hook" Luke chuckled a little at that. It was true. Noah didn't look like it but he really could pack a punch.

"But as much as I appreciate your caring, I can't do this without knowing if you'll run back to Noah tomorrow or the day after or maybe even in two hours! I need to know at the very least if things are over between Noah and you or not."

"Yeah, they are. For good. When I was defending you to Noah, I realised that I hadn't actually acted on what I was telling him. You know, I told him that even if I hadn't met you, I couldn't have gone back to him now and be happy. And I meant that. Reid, whether or not you and I can become something, Noah and I are over. I can't do this anymore. It's killing me. I always feel like I'm doing everything wrong, like I'm always the cause of our problems. It's not healthy and it's not right. It takes two to tango. I'm not the only reason we had problems and honestly, if after all this time together that's how Noah acts… You asked me once, if I was sick of Noah blaming me, calling the shots while expecting me to wait around for him, well yeah Reid, I am. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of feeling like being with you is wrong when it makes me…" Luke's voice broke as a single tear fell from his face.

"When it makes you what? How do I make you feel Luke"

"Happy" Luke whispered. "You make me happy Reid. And that's something I haven't felt in a long time with Noah. Oh I've been happy **for** him plenty, but…happy **with** him? No, not for a long time"

"Then, care to explain what your last visit here was all about?" Reid asked softly. He didn't want to push Luke too far and have him bolt, but on the other hand, their last conversation here had been particularity hurtful for him and he didn't want it to repeat itself later on.

"I think…" Luke sighed "The thing you need to understand is that I love Noah and I will always love and care for Noah, even though right now I really don't like him much."

Reid pulled his hand away. Why did he always have to hear about how much Luke loved Noah?

"But" Luke said, grabbing Reid's hand again "But I'm not **in** love with him anymore and the time has come for me to finally accept that. It hurts though. Noah was my first boyfriend and for years, he was my forever. I had hopes and dreams with him and they're all gone Reid. And letting go of my dreams, letting go of someone who had such an importance in my life, it's hard. It hurts a lot and…it's also really, really scary. Noah is all I know. I know him pretty well. I know what to expect and what not to expect with him. With you? I don't know. Everything is so new and different than with Noah and I panicked. I panicked because when Noah and I had a though time or broke up, we always ended up back together. Or rather, Noah was always ready to take me back, this time included. It's something I can depend on. Being with you, falling for you, it's a huge risk. It's unknown and I was scared that I would end up being hurt and I was scared that I would end up hurting you. The whole _I'm in love with Noah and want to go back with him _speech? That was me being a coward and settling down for what I knew instead of what I wanted."

"So what you want is… ?"

" For a genius, you're pretty slow aren't you?" Luke teased. "You! I want to be with you. I want to see where this thing between us can go. Now the real question is do you? Last I heard, you wanted nothing to do with me"

"What you heard might have been a fleeting case of temporary insanity"

"Oh really?" Luke asked smiling. "So then Doctor, if I was going to, let's say, kiss you, does that mean it would be welcome?" Luke got up and stood in front of Reid, between his legs

"Something like that" Reid choked out as Luke settled down on his lap

"Yeah?" The intensity in Luke's brown eyes made Reid gulped. Never before had Luke looked at him with so much desire. His eyes were burning right into him and if Luke didn't do something soon… Reid felt an electric shock run through his entire spine as Luke's lips finally joined his in a slow passionate dance. He couldn't believe he was here again. Luke's lips felt like home. They kissed chastely at first but when Luke's tongue licked his lips, all bets were off. Reid grabbed him hard, pushing their body closer while his tongue ravaged Luke's month, marking it as his own. It didn't take too long before they pulled apart, both breathless.

"Wow. That was…wow" said Luke with a silly grin on his face.

"Really Mr. Snyder. Just wow? Let's see if I can do better than that" Reid replied pushing Luke back on the couch, both of them laughing and teasing their partner between their kisses.

THE END

AN: There you go! Hoped someone liked it a little. I just needed to write it, there was just no stopping it. I hope the kissing scene is ok. I have never written one before and had no idea whatsoever how to write one. Feel free to give me tricks and suggestions on how to improve as long as you're nice about it.


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